Swimfan on DVD

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a good horror movie and a bad horror movie. Most of the time, even good horror movies are bad, but they’re good because they’re bad in a good way.

Other times, it’s easy to tell the difference. Swimfan is a bad horror movie. It might have been good if the filmmakers didn’t take it so seriously, but they do, and here we are.

Ben Cronin (Jesse Bradford) has finally gotten his life turned around. He has a beautiful girlfriend, great friends, and a shot at a swimming scholarship. But when the new girl at school, Madison Belle (Erika Christensen) develops a crush – that later turns into obsession – things start to go downhill again. She seduces him in the pool, but when he realizes his mistake and tries to break up with her, she doesn’t take it so well.

She sabotages his life and is even willing to go as far as murder in order to win Ben back.

Kind of like Fatal Attraction (except not nearly as well executed), Swimfan takes a likeable character and screws things up for him. But the movie begins to go downhill as soon as Ben has sex with Madison. We stop liking him at that point because his girlfriend is so unbelievably sweet, and we can’t believe he would do something like that to her, especially with someone like Madison. It’s hard to feel sorry for a character like that.

Of course, the main problem with the movie is that it sucks. It’s not the slightest bit believable, and it pulls too many clichés from too many other movies. To add insult to injury, this “thriller” is not the least bit thrilling. Its only redeeming quality is that you become curious to see what Madison will do next, regardless of whether or not you actually believe she could pull it off. How this girl gets access to everything she needs is beyond me.

If you’re looking for a thriller, there were plenty of good ones last year. Panic Room, The Mothman Prophecies, Signs, The Ring, One Hour Photo…any one of them is infinitely better than this sad attempt. If you feel you must check it out because you usually really enjoy bad teen thrillers, you’ve been warned…

Obviously realizing how bad the movie is (based on its box office take and critical bashing), Fox has given it the most average DVD we’ve seen come from them in recent memory (for a theatrical release, anyway). The disc features both 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen and Pan&Scan versions on opposite sides of the disc and 5.1 Dolby Digital soundtracks for both. The audio and video are both about as basic as it gets, with the picture being slightly grainy and pretty soft, and the audio having nothing whatsoever to do with the rear speakers.

Extras include an audio commentary by director John Polson and actors Jesse Bradford and Erika Christensen. It’s evident in the quality of the movie that everyone took it very seriously, but it’s even more evident here. They seem to think this is the greatest thriller since Fatal Attraction, and the lack of any humor on this track only makes it that much more amusing. How such a bad movie (that could have been a good bad movie) can be taken so seriously is hard to swallow.

There are also some deleted scenes (scenes that weren’t good enough for a bad movie are always a treat), and a short PR featurette.

Swimfan, from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
85 minutes, anamorphic widescreen (2.35:1) 16X9 enhanced, 5.1 Dolby Digital
Starring Jesse Bradford, Erika Christensen, Shiri Appleby, Kate Burton and Dan Hedaya
Produced by John Penotti, Allison Lyon Segan, Joe Caracciolo Jr.
Written by Charles Bohl & Philip Schneider
Directed by John Polson

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